Your Opinon On Marriage

[Melee_Sovereign]

I don't think most people actually deliberately "aim" for short term relationships. It just happens that way. People get together and then break up because they come to find that they don't like each other or something else got in the way of it and caused it to not work out.

In terms of getting a girlfriend as oppose to a wife... well, like Gotenks said, chances are, she's gonna have to start out as a girlfriend first.

[*****]

^^
thats one of the things I don't get, and I suppose it depends how you interpret girlfriend. For me if it's a relationship with boundaries, with the intention to keep it forever then it's an engagement.

[Evil_Gotenks]

Well i can't talk for everyone, but when u get a girlfriend ur not intending to dump them anytime soon. Ur kind of thinking and planning to stay with them for a long time.
I dont think anyone jumps into a relationship and thinks "i'll keep u for a month and then its over". But at the same u don't say within the early phases "its me and u baby for lyfe" cos its just quite creepy.

[*****]

^^
I dunno dude, not from what I seen....

and I went university with ppl who 30 they were telling they all went with temporary relationships when they were younger, until they got mature enough to get a proper relationships.

Of course like I said it depends how you interpret marriage,

But from what I seen, most the ppl I known have said they've had sex before wanting to get a proper relationships. At least in Middlesbrough

[Mechacide]

^^
thats one of the things I don't get, and I suppose it depends how you interpret girlfriend. For me if it's a relationship with boundaries, with the intention to keep it forever then it's an engagement.

I'd just call that a committed relationship. I mean, you can't exactly meet a girl and say "Wanna marry me?" which would be an actual engagement. I mean, you can, but I'm not sure how far you'd get with it. I'd be interested to see if it worked, actually...

To be honest, I think it just depends on your intentions. You can call it a committed relationship, a girlfriend, or an engagement, because it's all the same, really. There has to be a period where you know a girl, and you're not married, and no matter how long it is, they're something to you within that time. I'd call them a girlfriend.

[*****]

^^
well I guess I forgot to mention the "engagement stage" before getting married. But for me engagement is different to girlfriend, is it's restricted, as in you can't have sex during that stage.

[Evil_Gotenks]

Well the norm is girlfriend > engagement/fiancée > marriage/wife...

So in ur eyes, before ur actually engaged (as in u haven't proposed yet and she isn't ur fiancée) u would label that part of ur relationship as "engagement"?
And that to u girlfriends r just someone u have for sex and ur not lookin for a long term relationship?

[*****]

^^
well I dont agree with girlfriends all together, so in my eyes girlfriend/boyfriend etc I disagree with it. I never had a girl friend and I don't intend to have one.

but from what I know usually a girlfriend is some sort of semi marriage, which for most ppl would include some sort of sexual relationship.

However for what I understand, for some a girl friend can be another name for an engagement (more or less) so in that sense, if it is, im ok with it so long as it is a restricted relationship and fits to how I would define engagement.

Now regarding what stage would I call the one before engagement, well im sorry I don't believe in one. You get to know the person when your engaged, so far so good? you get married? still good? you carry on, you don't it ends.

For me sex only should come in, when someone is committed for the long relationship, and thats why it must only be done when marriage has been confirmed. Because here your affecting ppl's lives, whether it's the child, the mother or yours. A lot of the problems begin to happen that way

[Evil_Gotenks]

U never answered this though:

So in ur eyes, before ur actually engaged (as in u haven't proposed yet and she isn't ur fiancée) u would label that part of ur relationship as "engagement"?

For me, i would call that the girlfriend stage (the girlfriend stage doesn't have to have sex but there is always a romance about it), but i no u wouldn't define that as the girlfriend stage.
The engagement phase to me only starts once someone actually proposes, i just don't no when the engagement phase for u starts. I'm assuming u won't ask a girl immediately to marry u and u don't want ur version of the girlfriend stage...

EDIT: nevermind, i misread a part of ur post...

[Mechacide]

You don't have to have sex with the girl just because you're not engaged. Like I said before, it's about the people, not the labels. If you don't want to have sex before marriage, you just find someone that feels the same way, and then labels won't matter to either of you anyway.

[Melee_Sovereign]

but from what I know usually a girlfriend is some sort of semi marriage, which for most ppl would include some sort of sexual relationship.

Yeah, that's called a sexual relationship.

You don't have to have sex with a girl to consider her a girlfriend, and vice versa.

[*****]

You know my parents really want me to get married, and I do think they have a point. Grandchildren would mean so much for them, they want to see me married in the next 2 years. I'm not sure it'll be as soon as that but i do expect to get married in the near future after all

[Rogue_Agent]

You know my parents really want me to get married, and I do think they have a point. Grandchildren would mean so much for them, they want to see me married in the next 2 years. I'm not sure it'll be as soon as that but i do expect to get married in the near future after all

Well it isn't like you have much choice, not getting married and following the life of celibacy is not permitted within Islam.

[*****]

^^
and were did you get that from? from my understanding it's recommended but not compulsory.
Many islamic scholars didn't get married BTW, I didn't see a verse in the quraan which said you had to. The only thing which could come to mind is hadith which is supposed to be weak anyway. (However please reply in this thread viewtopic.php?f=99&t=7743)

To be fair it's not that I don't want to, I just have different priorities at the moment, and I don't think I'll be ready any time soon, because I believe there more important things at the moment. If I get everything out the way first, and I happen to bump into someone I like then I would yes. I'll try to find someone, but if I can't, then whatever honestly im not fussed about it

[Rogue_Agent]

Many islamic scholars didn't get married

Because they devoted themselves to a cause that is far more worthy than anything we are involved in.

To be fair it's not that I don't want to, I just have different priorities at the moment, and I don't think I'll be ready any time soon, because I believe there more important things at the moment. If I get everything out the way first, and I happen to bump into someone I like then I would yes. I'll try to find someone, but if I can't, then whatever honestly im not fussed about it

I wasn't trying to force the idea of marriage upon you. We all have our problems that we must face and it is best to get them solved before moving onto a larger engagement such as meeting your future spouse. You being a university student will have to pay your tuition fee. One of the many tasks we have to accomplish before moving onto the next step. What you do is your call, I was just notifying you of a small piece of information. Whether you act upon it or not is nobody's business but yours.

[*****]

@ RA

well you provide me the evidence that it's haram not to get married in the Islam, in the islam thread please, then we'll take it form there.

Marriage is a fantastic thing, your absolutely right, but remember im no longer a university student . However I think to have a good relationship, you need to give plenty of time for your wife, something I won't be able to do with the things have prioritized in the next couple of years. I don't see myself living just your ordinary life to be honest, I want to try and dedicate myself in helping others out. I can't just sit back with the luxury, while others are suffering around the globe. I'd like to have a strong position in society were I can help influence the world for the better, therefore this will take up most of my time. If in the mean time I will be able to do what I want to do, and have the time to be good husband/father not to mention the time of actually finding someone first, then yea why not.

[イ★シ]

Epic bump.

After having 2nd thoughts I personally don't think I'll ever want to be in a relationship again, not to mention something serious as marriage. I know that marriage is an important aspect of life but eh... Oh well.

[LonerHero]

^^ well ishy made epic bump but my opinion is getting married and having family is wonderful thing but i don't know what path lies before me

Spoiler: show

...but The only problem with marriage is family problem of course don't know i might not get married

[MelonHead]

Well me I do wish to get married some day but not today
I'm just scared I won't find the right person

[Guardian Angel]

well i dont know actuelly i mean i have no problems being single and school gos first than boys